How Could I See This Differently?

What Could I Do Differently? A New Perspective on the Past

One of my favorite reminders from Scripture is:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5–6).

It’s a humbling call to release my limited interpretations and trust in God’s infinite wisdom. My understanding of the past is often clouded by human frailty and ego, but God invites me to let go and lean on Him instead.

For years, I’ve asked myself countless times: What could I have done differently? It used to feel like a responsible thing to do—a way of analyzing my mistakes to ensure I wouldn’t repeat them. But the more I grow in my faith, the more I realize how this question keeps me anchored in guilt and regret, stuck in a loop of self-recrimination.

The Trap of Guilt

The ego thrives on judgment; the past is often its tool to keep us stuck. When I ask, What could I do differently? I’m subtly inviting guilt to take center stage. Dwelling on the past distracts me from the grace and peace God freely offers in the present.

But the truth is, those moments I agonize over? They’re gone. They do not exist anymore, except in my own mind. As Paul reminds us:

“Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14).

The past only holds the power I choose to give it. By clinging to it, I deny myself the freedom and healing God wants for me right now.

Shifting the Question

Rather than asking, What could I do differently? I’ve started asking a new question: What can I see differently now?

This subtle shift moves my focus away from regret and toward transformation. The past is fixed, but my perception of it can change—and that’s where the power lies.

Jesus reminds us,

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

By inviting the Holy Spirit into my thoughts, I allow God’s truth to reinterpret my experiences. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, I open myself to see how even the most challenging moments can serve a higher purpose in His plan.

Forgiveness as Freedom

The Bible teaches that forgiveness is essential to living a life of freedom:

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Forgiveness isn’t about excusing harmful actions or pretending the past didn’t happen. It’s about releasing the judgments I’ve attached to the past and trusting God to bring justice and healing.

Every time I’ve chosen forgiveness, I’ve felt a profound shift. The tightness in my chest loosens, and I feel lighter. Forgiveness allows me to release the burden of carrying the past, freeing me to live in the peace of God’s presence.

Trusting God’s Plan

I’ve learned that trying to “fix” the past on my own is exhausting and fruitless. Instead, I’ve started handing my regrets and what-ifs to God. Through prayer and reflection, I ask Him to help me see things differently, release my attachment to outcomes, and trust that everything unfolds according to His perfect plan.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3: 5-6

When I let go of my need to understand and control, I open the door for divine wisdom to enter.

Choosing the Present

Ultimately, the most healing thing I’ve learned is that the present moment is all there is. The past is over. The future hasn’t happened yet. Right now is the only time I can connect with God, experience His peace, and make choices that align with His love.

Instead of dwelling on What can I do differently? I focus on How can I see this differently? How can I bring love into this moment? How can I see myself and others through the lens of forgiveness and compassion? How can I trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should?

A New Response to Regret

When regret arises, instead of spiralling into guilt, I remind myself:

The past is gone. I release it to God and trust in His healing power in the present moment. I choose peace now.

I’ve found a deeper sense of peace and purpose by shifting my focus from analyzing the past to embracing the present. The question What could I do differently? no longer feels relevant. What matters now is how I choose to move forward—with love, forgiveness, and trust guiding the way.

Indeed, the past holds no power over me unless I choose to give it power. And today, I choose freedom.